It begins in the back  garden. ripping up weeds against resistance like being 8 years old again, fighting and pulling at someone's hair. getting tired  and going at them  with a rake instead, and then a spade to break the final roots. grabbing up handfuls and throwing them at the wall, like sneezing holding playing cards. In the kitchen  I take the paper  and tear it. pour out seeds; raw wildflower. planting wilderness; and I'm aware of the irony,  but I don't need anything which takes making an effort. just something to toss out and forget about until it sprouts  in all color. they look tiny