1. Octopuses have nine brains. Me? I wouldn't want so many organs with which to overthink and fly into hysterics. You always ran from those—took the car and left me alone for hours, sometimes days, until I "calmed down." 2. Octopuses are masters of camouflage—they can mimic other oceanic objects and fade into the underwater scenery. I was a wallflower at high school and college dances. Now's no different. You said I was a nightmare at your office parties. I never interacted with the other spouses and partners, gripped my drink like a lifeline, and clung to your side so unattractively. 3. Oct