I never thought I would end up like this – like a tabloid horror story. Someday I bet I'll be discovered dead, here in my tiny, piss-scented apartment, being devoured by my seventy cats. Thing is, I never even liked cats. They're too sleek and indifferent, too snotty and superior. I started out just like you. I had a job, an apartment in the city, and a goldfish. It wasn't a bad life, not exciting or anything, but still. It was all I expected. All I needed. I'm a plain woman and I know it. I was suited to being what I was, an insignificant secretary for County Animal Control. I wore tweed skir